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Hilarious Reasons You Need a Certifying Organization for ISO 27001:2022 Standard

Welcome, dear reader, to a unique exploration into the whimsically bureaucratic world of the ISO 27001:2022 Standard. Fear not, for while the topic might sound dryer than a dehydrated cactus, we've managed to inject some humor into this oh-so-serious affair.

Now, you may wonder, why can't I just download a copy of the ISO 27001 standards, give it a quick read on a lazy Sunday afternoon, and call myself a master of information security? Well, it turns out there are a few (read: a plethora) reasons. Here are the top five tongue-in-cheek reasons why you absolutely, positively must have a certifying organization's blessing to snap up ISO 27001:2022.

1. Without Them, There's No One to Blame but Yourself

Truly, what is bureaucracy if not an intricate web of "Not It!"? Should anything go awry, with a certifying organization, you'll have someone to point to – complete with stern finger-wagging – while proclaiming, "They said I was compliant!"

2. It's Like Your Passwords: Super Secret... for Your Protection

Nothing says "I'm important" like being hidden behind layers of certification. I mean, if just anyone could understand the nuances of InfoSec, would it really be that special? Besides, if you could simply Google it, hackers could too – and we all know they never use Google.  

3. You Get to Visit Exotic Locations for Audits

Come for the certification, stay for the travel points! Who wouldn't want to replace vacation plans with a visit to the steel and glass forest of Corporate HQ, where you'll experience the local flavor of endless conference rooms and vending machine cuisine?

4. The Art of Paperwork: A Novel Written by Your Organization

Sifting through the vast labyrinths of paperwork required for certification isn't just a job; it's an art form. One that will probably leave you wondering whether Picasso himself strategized the chaotic explosion of documentation that somehow creates a coherent picture of security compliance.

5. The Secret Handshake

Okay, so there might not be a literal secret handshake, but there's something akin to a figurative one in knowing you and your certifying organization are privy to the magical mystery of ISO-standardized information sanctity. Plus, who knows? Networking might get you the actual handshake one day...

In conclusion, while it might seem like a hoop-jumping exercise with the athletic prowess of a sloth on a Monday, obtaining the services of a certifying organization to procure the ISO 27001:2022 is as crucial as it is comedically convoluted. Just remember, when the mystical cloak of 'Information Security Management' descends, you'll not only be the securest kid on the cyber block but also part of the elite club that can truly say, "Yes, I survived an ISO audit."

Meanwhile, don't take yourself too seriously, and keep laughing – it's the best way to ward off those nefarious cyber gremlins.

Until next time, keep on keeping on!

~Wil Seiler

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